It has been a very tough year for me so far. I hope that it gets easier for my family. I know this doesn't have anything to do with crocheting, but I just need to write this.Monday Aug.27 2012 my mother passed away. She has been very sick this year. She fell in the night in Feb.4th at her place, and that seems like when everything just started to fall apart. Mom didn't really know how or when she fell but she knew that she had gone to bed after that. She didn't want to call me when she realized what happened, because she didn't want to bother me. So she waited all night and then called the next day. I remembered that call so clear," Vicki can you come over I fell and I think I need to go to the hospital". I got over there and she was still in bed with her pj's on. Mom told me that she had fell in the night. I felt so horrible, why hadn't she called me, why did she think that she would bother me. I called the EMS,they rushed her to the hospital. The hospital did x-rays and everything that was needed to be done. They didn't see any broken bones, Thank God! So mom did get to go home. My sister and I began to notice little things that just didn't seem right. She couldn't remember things sometimes didnt realize what day it was. Plus she kepted telling us that she still hurt bad, her back hurt. Then her stomach hurt. Doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. Finally they order a bone scan, which showed us that spots where on her spine, her cancer had gone into remission so many years ago had reappeared on her spine. We decided to start with Hospice at her home, wich I can't say enough good things about. Those ladies were so helpful. Don't know what we would have done with out them. They came from day one till Sunday Aug 26th. My sister and I did move mom to The Manor House at Wedgewood Estates in Mansfield which is close to both my sister and I. She did very well adjusting to her new place. Made new friends and seemed like she was enjoying herself. Then on August 7th she fell in her room cut her head so we were back up in the emergency room. No broken bones but she did get 10 stitches on her forehead. She did get to go back to Wedgewood that night. She went to breakfast the next morning said she didn't know what happened didn't remember how she got that cut on her forehead and she wasn't sore! On August 14th she got her stitches out looked good everything was just fine. Ok I thought we are going to be ok now no more miss haps, right. August 18th Hospice nurse called and said that mom had had a mini stroke.That we didn't need to rush up there cause mom was sleeping and she was very tired. I went up on Sunday the 18th mom is still in bed she cant talk right isn't making any sence. Wouldn't eat finally my sister and I did get her to drink water and eat alittle pudding and later she did eat some broth. The next day she had some scrambled eggs but wasn't really much better when I got there after work. Then everything just start to snowball, she went downhill everyday. My sister called me away from work on Thursay the 23rd mom isn't breathing right, I went over and told her maybe its just the medication doing this. We both agreed that that was what it was. Hospice nurse came she said no that isn't what is going on your mom is dying this is one of the many steps and she is in the last one.She probably wont make it past the weekend. We called the family in, we stayed with mom everyday all of us all weekend. I ended up getting the flu Saturday night was sick all day Sunday so I couldn't be with her. I got up Monday moring drank my coffee called off work got cleaned up and came down stairs. My husband told me that my sister just got there and that the nurse told her that mom was gone. Mom died before we could see her sometime between 6:00-7:00 a.m. We were told that a lot of people do that. That they will not die with there loved ones around them. That they want to go when they are alone. I'am just so thankful that I did get to spend her last days with her and to tell her I love her. To talk to her about when I was little and about dad when he was alive. I know my mom is in a better place, "Heaven", that she and dad are finally together again after 30 years. She has waited so long for that day.Now she isn't in anymore pain she can rest and be in peace. Someday I hope to see them both again, see my grandparents, Aunts, Uncles. God Bless you mom, I love you